The glamour and the shadow

It’s easy to see some awn awn wedding moments and wish to be married. Some even go as far as wishing to be married to someone that is just like the groom or bride because of some emotions or character displayed during the wedding.

I sometimes come across videos of the groom crying on their wedding day on Instagram and the comment sections are always full of women making comments like ”If he isn’t crying like this, I don’t want”, “If he isn’t looking at you like that, dump him”, as if the display of emotions is proof of the groom’s character or personality.

I was watching Discovery ID, a channel on DSTV, about two weeks ago and they were showing a video clip from a wedding. The groom saw the bride and started crying uncontrollably. It was so emotional and cute the way he could not control himself. He was looking at the bride like she meant everything to him and he couldn’t believe that she was finally going to be his. Six years later, he murdered her.

Yeah, you read that right. No, it wasn’t an accident, no, it wasn’t a “mistake”. After a lot of investigations, the police pieced together what must have happened.

He waited for her at home, just beside the door, and grabbed her immediately after she entered, which made her spill the groceries she went to get on the floor(the groceries were still scattered on the floor when her colleagues came to check on her). They struggled, but he overpowered her and strangled her till she was unconscious. Then he carried her to the bathroom and placed her in the tub with water running. He slit her throat and left her in the tub to die.

What happened in just 6 years? What happened to that lovestruck man who couldn’t keep his tears at bay. What happened to that man who made a vow to protect his woman and cherish her with his hands, but instead strangled her with those same hands 6 years later?

Let me add that they were in the middle of a divorce that was going to be finalized 2 weeks from the day of the murder.

What am I saying to you? Don’t compare your life to what you see on social media platforms. Don’t judge your partner based on a 10-second video you saw on Instagram. Your partner may not cry when he sees you, he may not look at you like his life is meaningless without you, but he may still be there in 30 years time, standing beside you no matter what.

There is the glamour you see on social media, but the shadows remain hidden, and they are sometimes very ugly. You only see what people want you to see, you only know what they want you to know.